Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Smokes
So, we have wanted to quit smoking. By We I mean I have wanted to and my husband has wanted to but he has no will power. Me, I'm fine, as long as I'm not smelling smoke. He paces like a caged animal and dumps tobacco into a pipe (like that helps). Then he yells at me for being all Zen and just going on with what I gotta do. So, I have been nagging him and nagging him and today finally found the trigger to make it happen.
Smokes, the ferret, is the new addition. We were out today and he saw her. He went all gooey and acted like it was his newborn daughter. He cooed and petted and, dare I say it, just about giggled. So, I was honest and said, "Listen, we just can't afford her....unless we quit smoking." I saw his mind working, his eyes kept darting from the ferret to the lady and he finally thrust the ferret at her and said, "Wrap her up before I change my mind."
So, he named her smokes, to remind himself of why he gave up smoking. That makes three boys and three girls, the ferret factory is now officially closed!
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I've heard the old "if you quit smoking, you can have this or that or this." before. And for a time it works. And then, BAM! Forgotten. All forgotten in a haze of glorious smoke. Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
ReplyDeleteAre we talkin' about cigs ? LOL !
ReplyDeleteYes, yes, we are talking about cigs. It's dryer than a geriatric vagina for anything else around here.
ReplyDeleteI have been trying to quit forever .
ReplyDeleteI'm paying 6.25 a pack right now out here in Diego .
I cut back to 10 cigs a day .
It's ruff ...done the patches ....
Everything!
Patches give us hella bad dreams. Really freaky nightmares that seem so real that you wake up in cold sweats. I do just fine as long as I'm not around smokering. Don't crave 'em until I smell it.
ReplyDeleteI'd do a geriatric vagina. For $6.25. Patches or not.
ReplyDeleteI knew your price was low but $6.25.. Do I want to know where you carry the change for your 'friends'?
ReplyDeleteIn my box. Of course!
ReplyDeleteGood thing you take it up the ass or the quarters would corrode.
ReplyDeleteNice. Very nice. Cherry Gore, everyone. Again, Cherry Gore.
ReplyDeleteSo, "ferrets" are a euphemism for...uhhhhh... elderly Jewish men??
ReplyDeleteWhy? Are you elderly and Jewish?
ReplyDeleteYou really need to put LJ in check today ...LOL!
ReplyDeleteHer head is firmly up my ass. There's nothing she can do.
ReplyDelete